POLITICS

5 Quick Questions I Have After that National Disaster of a Debate

I have questions…

1. What was Joe on during the SOTU and why didn’t they jack him up on that again? That’s all we were really there to see. We wanted to see an energetic fighter, like we saw this past winter. We wanted to see the guy everyone at the White House keeps talking about, who is supposedly doing handstands behind closed doors and is brimming with energy. Instead, we got…well, we all saw it.
2. Who would replace him if he does agree to step down? Gavin Newson had a happy night, nursing the odd and distant prospect of stepping in this summer. Kamala came on CNN afterward to defend, and she was spirited, but her numbers are so low. And the Republicans will remind us every damn day til November that she was in charge of the border. So, who else? Gretchen?
3. Who is killing babies in this 9-month murderous fever dream we’re all expected to believe is real? There are no post-birth abortions happening. This is such an affront to truth; it’s disgusting. And yet he stood there and went on and on about it — with a clear path to build and build and build the lie. It boggles the mind. Joe’s response was, well…see #1.
4. Why did we not discuss The Wall that never got built…but we talked about golf for a full minute? Nothing connects with everyday Americans like golf. Or two 80-year-olds fighting about golf. Or mentions of golf handicaps. Or golf swings. Or golf championships. And what the fuck are these two talking about? What is happening right now?
5. What exactly is a black job? Anyone?