Julio Vincent Gambuto

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SATIRE

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Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash
  1. Kristen Welker, the moderator, will orchestrate the debate with a massive switchboard on her desk, Beats by Dre on her ears, and a red Staples Easy Button she’ll press to mute the candidates. Muting will go wrong, and we’ll hear Trump interrupt his own voice while Biden’s lips move on screen.
  2. In his introductory remarks, Joe will say, “Well, it’s nice of you to join us at the debates, Mr. President.” Trump will say that anyone who wants to debate on Zoom is a “pussy.” #ZoomPussy will trend and will battle Toobin’s #ZoomDick on Twitter.
  3. Trump will claim that Giuliani was only tucking his shirt in, then he will demonstrate how to tuck in a dress shirt, taking down his pants on stage. In the audience, the Woman in the Red Glasses from Miami will swoon. At that point, the guys who invented “Untuckit” will rush on stage to promo their new fall line. …


COMMENTARY

Here’s your quick recap, in case you missed

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I didn’t know you could win a town hall. But tonight, Savannah Guthrie did just that. …


POLITICS

Those are two very different things

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Photo by Elliott Stallion on Unsplash

The mythical “undecided voter” is not only on the minds, maps, and to-do lists of both the Biden and the Trump campaigns, but these mysterious unicorns continue to catch the ire of meme-makers and tweeters internet-wide. …

About

Julio Vincent Gambuto

Where the personal, pandemic and the political meet // juliovincent.com • @juliovincent

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