Dear Brands, We Really Don’t Need This Much Christmas Music in Stores
The holiday season has begun. And that means our dear American brands — from Starbucks to Target, from Apple to J. Crew to Best Buy — have all flipped the digital disc-jockey switch from pleasant capitalist retail soft rock to wall-to-wall Jingle Bells. In every store in America, it’s time for the annual blitz of snow tunes. Get ready for them. On repeat. For the next 30 days. From now ’til New Year’s morning, we will each hear Mariah Carey sing All I Want For Christmas Is You 4,892 times.
I don’t hate Christmas music. I actually really enjoy the ritual of it all. Especially after the pandemic, the holidays have taken on a new meaning. This will be the first year since 2019 that my family gathers for Christmas. That’s, of course, if a new variant of Covid doesn’t rip through New York City during office-holiday-party week, like it did last year. I guess technically we did gather in 2020, in masks, but 18 people in two houses woke up the next day with Round 1 Grade-A Coronavirus. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
I just feel so terrible for the workers trapped inside these stores. This morning I went to my local coffee shop, opened the door, and was assaulted (ears only) by Silent Night at 90 decibels. It was eight o’clock in the morning. All I could think was “Jesus, these poor…
