MODERN LIFE

The Lies We Tell Instead of Saying “No”

Why we do it and what to say instead

Saying “no” is just so hard sometimes that we would rather just lie. I have been overwhelmed by how popular my recent Medium essays have been that are focused on “How to Say No” and “How to Say No — At Work.” I’m not shocked. Apparently, hundreds of thousands of us struggle with these two tiny letters. We’re struggling now more than ever, as the number of emails that is sent daily worldwide has hit an all-time high of 319.6 billion, putting us on track to hit 376.4 billion by 2025. I know, some days it feels like all 319.6 billion are in your own inbox.

In all of those emails are requests, announcements, invitations, big asks and small ones, and subtle and not-so-subtle demands from friends, family, colleagues, and your boss and clients. Of course, add to the inundated inbox an endless march of Zoom invites amidst our global shift to work-from-home (um, the dining room table), plus the calls, texts, and social and Slack messages that pile up daily, and you have a society — both ours and those abroad — at its limit. It is no wonder we are all so exhausted. I don’t know about you personally, but I certainly am.

All that said, it still isn’t any easier to say “no” to all that is asked of us. This year, as The Great Pause…