MODERN LOVE

When Gay Dating Got Formal

May it be a COVID practice that stays with us

The Great Pandemic Year brought much change to our social practices, especially in the world’s densest cities. (Hello from New York.) Personally, I am fine with wearing a mask each flu season from now on, especially if it means not picking up the random floating germ on the 1 train. Fifteen months in, I can’t even imagine a world where we used to go bare-faced to the grocery store, poring over produce with our aerosols spewing. In “The After,” I wouldn’t be opposed to slapping on some sanitizer before I handle the fresh fruit. Or getting contact-free Seamless. Or making an app reservation at the gym. Turns out, fewer people on the floor means easier access to the TRX straps.

While much has to go, as soon as it can (the 6-foot stand-here sidewalk stickers, the shanty-town restaurant huts, the pointless temperature checks), and much has to return (the concerts, the dinner parties, the dance floor), there are certain practices that have emerged that I wouldn’t mind keeping around. My favorite adaptation: the new formality of gay dating. Never before, at least in my lifetime, has there been such a traditional social step-by-step to guy-on-guy courting. It took a year-long worldwide standstill, but I’ll take it, happily. Of course, a similar formality has…